Save Me
by N.T's Fanfiction
Summary: A idea for a new story came up in my head when I watched the Episode Surrender Benson. I missed a particular man in that episode, and the only way to bring him back is to write my own version of it. Repost because of change chapter. Will be ElliotOlivia in the end. First chapter rated M, others T.
1. Chapter 1

**Save me, chapter 1.**

A little idea for a new story came up in my head when I watched the Episode Surrender Benson. I missed a particular man in that episode, and the only way to bring him back is to write my own version of it. Repost because of change chapter.

I'm not sure how many chapters this will have.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own a thing, If I did I would have done everything in my power to bring Elliot back into the show!  
**Rating**: M contains rape

THIS IS MY FIRST LAW AND ORDER FANFIC :) YAY  
Review?

**xx-natasja-xx**

"How do you mean she is still missing?" Elliot yelled as he looked at Don, his former boss "I've been her partner for a decade and I never lost her, I've been away for two years and she gets kidnapped?" Elliot ranted while he sat down in the chair by Don's desk and placed his head in his hands. He was desperate, he left the squad because he wasn't himself anymore, he shot a young girl, fell in love with his partner and got anger issues, he mainly left because he wanted Olivia to be save, not being with the squad anymore would mean that she got a new partner who wouldn't have anger issues which would affect her. He got into therapy to work on himself for the last two years, divorced Kathy just to find out through the television that Olivia got kidnapped and was already missing for several days. When he saw it on the news his heart felt like it got ripped out.

"Elliot" Don started as he walked over towards him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder "We are doing everything we can to find her" he said, feeling bad for Elliot, knowing that he already felt bad about the whole situation, but that Elliot was closer to her then anyone from the squad ever would be. He even wondered if Elliot wasn't the closest person to her from all people Olivia had met in her life.

Elliot looked up at his old captain "I want to help, please Don I need to do this, I can't just sit here and wait till she will be found" he said as he stood up "I promised her I would keep her safe, I was wrong walking out on her without telling her, but I need to find her, I need to show her I keep the promise that I've made to her many years ago" He said, trying to convince Don into letting him help on the case.

Don looked into the eyes of a man who once had fire in his eyes, while now all the eyes reflected was hurt "I will make an exception for you this time, you can meet up with Nick Amaro, her new partner" Don said with a comforting smile

"thank you Cap" Elliot said and started to walk away, before being stopped by Don "Elliot, it isn't his fault so be nice to him" Don warned him, earning a nod from Elliot.

"Oh and Elliot?" Don started, Elliot turned around to face Don again "If I were you I would get lost of that facial hair you created, not that I don't like it but when Olivia will be found she can get scared and not remember you when you have hair like a monkey" Don grinned, earning a chuckle from Elliot before heading to search for Nick Amaro.

**xx-natasja-xx**

It took several hours but they finally got a lead, on where Lewis had been seen for the last time, his car was found on a driveway of an empty house. When they arrived there they got a disappointment, no one was in the house. They searched the car and found some leads towards the beach houses. So they were checking them out now. They already entered five empty houses with no result.

"There are so many empty beach houses this time of the year" Elliot sighed as they looked around for more leads, he really wanted to find her, hell no he needed to find her.

"We will find her, we will" Amaro told him, and tried to convince himself that at the moment, he looked up at the man next to him "You left her broken" He said causing Elliot to look up at him

"How do you mean? I left her so that she would be save, I had temper issues that I took out while I was working, I thought she would be better off without me" He said while the radars in his head started working, what did he meant? What happened to Olivia when he left?

"I didn't know her before, when you were still in the team. But I've heard them talking, she seemed sad, angry, she took risk like it all didn't mean anything to her, she had red and puffy eyes for several months and she just looked broken. The cap once said that he was close to suspending her because of her recklessness, she put her life in danger" Nick said as he watched the man beside him look hurt, he noticed his eyes tearing up "They told me she never was that way before"

Elliot swallowed and quickly wiped a tear away "I've hurt her" he said, thinking out loud

"You love her?" Amaro said in a questioning tone

Elliot looked up at him, feeling his heart break "Since I met her, with all my heart"

**xx-natasja-xx**

Meanwhile

Olivia screamed against the tape on her mouth when he entered her again, forcing himself into her. She cried, her eyes hurting her by every tear escaping from them.

"I think I will keep you around for some time" Lewis said as slipped out of her and then entered her again with force "you are too damn sexy" he grinned with his evil smile "I bet you want to know what plans I have for you, but I have to disappoint you by saving them for myself. But you will love it baby" He said as he kissed her on the tape covering her lips. He just kept thrusting into her with this wicked smile on his face, not caring about all the blood between the both of them.

Olivia kept crying in silence, she really had hoped that someone would come and save her from this pervert but she lost hope. In her dreams Elliot would come and save her. Thinking about him gave her strength and hope for a lifetime, but now she could feel herself giving up, he wasn't going to save her this time, not this time, probably he wouldn't even know that she was kidnapped. She didn't even know if he was alive or dead.  
Every inch of her body hurt, at the moment she couldn't find ant strength to fight against him anymore. She felt dirty, ashamed that this could happen to her after all these years of practice. She just hoped that this would stop soon and that he would finally shoot that damn bullet into her head. She cried and closed her eyes, hoping he would get tired of her soon.

**xx-natasja-xx**

"This house has been empty for several months" Nick said as he pointed at a deserted beach house, a grey and white house. "I suggest we take a look at it" he said getting out of the car, grabbing his gun in his hand before opening the trunk of his car and taking out another gun, handing it to Elliot

"thanks" Elliot said, knowing that Nick was risking his job by giving him a gun while he wasn't a squad member anymore.

They slowly reached the house and walked around, checking if someone was there.  
Nick stopped when he noticed some movement in one of the rooms. He tapped Elliot on the shoulder and pointed towards the way he thought to have noticed something. Elliot nodded a yes towards to him before mentioning to go back to the front door. Arriving there Nick quickly called Cragen to inform them about the house and the little movement inside, and they got the order to go in.

Elliot kicked the door right after that, letting Nick in first while getting a good hold of the gun, taking it off the safety lock. They stormed into the room where Olivia was kept as they heard another door close. Elliot noticed Olivia and tears started to form in his eyes, he looked up at Nick "go" he said as he quickly ran over to Olivia.  
He quickly got her hands free before taking the tape off her feet and mouth "I'm so sorry" he said as she started to cry and she quickly looked down, embarrassed of herself. Elliot noticed and quickly grabbed a blanket and put it around her.

Olivia was shocked from all the things that happened the last day, and she couldn't believe Elliot was actually there with her. She shy looked up, tears still streaming over her face as she looked right into his eyes, eyes that were filled hurt and sadness.  
"Elliot" she croaked

"It's okay Liv, you don't have to talk now if you don't want to. Can you get up?" He asked her, having noticed her current state, her wounds and bruises.

Olivia nodded a yes as she tried to get up, Elliot handed her his hand to help her which she took after a moment of thoughts. He helped her get up and supported her when she was too weak to stand on her own feet "on a scale of 0 to 10 what is the pain?" he asked her, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer

Olivia looked up at him, still ashamed but also happy to see Elliot again "a 11" Olivia said, when Elliot looked into her eyes he could see the pain.

"Elliot?"

"Yes?"

"Hold me" Olivia said, not sure if she was ready to be touched by another man, but knowing that she could trust Elliot and wanting a shoulder to cry on she decided to ask him anyway. Elliot always have been the only man where she could be herself, where she could cry without holding back

Elliot pulled her into a hug and sat down on the bed, holding her into his lap, her face placed on his shoulder. She started sobbing onto his shoulder and he just continued to hold her until the ambulance arrived.

**xx-natasja-xx  
**  
Review?


	2. Chapter 2

**Save me, chapter 2.**

**Thank you for your wonderful reviews, your follows and favorites!**

**A/N**: I've only seen the episode surrender Benson, not the ones after. I live in the Netherlands and the episodes here stopped at the episode before this one, thus when Lewis came onto the screen for the first time. So only my imagination from here on.  
I'm still not sure how many chapters this one will have.

**xx-natasja-xx  
**  
Elliot walked into Olivia her hospital room, they arrived there hours ago and they sedated her right away due to her injuries. Elliot just left the room to grab some coffee before she would wake up. Her room was empty, the others from the squad went back to the station to do paperwork and told Elliot to call them when she was awake. He sighed as he looked at her, he never had her seen this way, so fragile, beaten up and hurt. He know she was raped but he couldn't think about that now. He needed to stay strong for her, she couldn't see him hurt. Inside he was glad that Nick killed the bastard when he tried to catch him, he knew that he would have done it otherwise. Elliot took a sip of his hot hospital coffee that just tasted like ditchwater. He took her hand in his and stroked it with his thumb, waiting for her to wake up.

A couple more hours passed and Elliot woke up by someone calling his name softly. He slowly opened his eyes, remembering where he was and why again before noticing that Olivia was awake. He smiled at her "Hey, how are you doing?" He asked her as he stroked her hand, he wanted to place a kiss on her cheek but he was to afraid that she would get scared.

Olivia's voice croaked when she tried to speak, her throat was still very dry from the intubate tube that they got out just moments before. Elliot shushed her and handed her the glass of water and helped her drink through a straw "you don't need to talk if it hurts to much" he told her with a assuring smile.

"Thank you" Olivia said softly, before starting to tremble and before she knew it tears were escaping her eyes. Olivia wasn't a person who would cry easily but she couldn't control it this time, she didn't want to admit it but she was broken.

"Oh Liv" Elliot said before getting up and hugging her. When he did Olivia froze for a moment, pushing him away. Then she took a look in his eyes and she pulled him back to her, hugging him and laying her head onto his shoulder. Elliot felt like her save haven, she knew she could trust him with her live, even though he left her two years ago.

When Olivia stopped sobbing they moved apart and Elliot smiled at her, whipping a strand of hair out of her face "I'm here for you" He said, knowing that he should have been there the last two years. He always brought her home, made sure that she was save inside. It was just something that he did and he knew not all partners would do that, but deep inside he hoped that Nick had been a partner like that, then maybe she would have been save, they would have found Lewis together. He sighed, knowing that overthinking it didn't change the fact that it all happened and it couldn't be changed, they couldn't rewind the time back.

"Thank you" Olivia said, giving him a small smile "I've missed you so much!" She said as she sighed content, happy to have him by her side. "I forgive you" she said and she noticed Elliot his eyes tear up

Elliot blinked his eye "I've missed you too, and your shouldn't forgive me that easily, I left, that was wrong" He told her as she lay back in the bed, still sore and tired.

"I bet you had a good reason to leave me like that" she stated, knowing explanations would come later, knowing she had one question she needed to ask him "Did Nick catch him? How long was I out?" she asked while fidgeting with her fingers

Elliot took her hand in his "you were out for almost a day, they sedated you because of your injuries" he said, while not trying to break down, seeing her in this bed, so broken hurt him so much, a hundred times more than walking in on Kathy cheating on him. He comforted himself with the thought that she would be fine eventually and that he was there for her in the meantime to help her get her live back on track. "And as for Lewis, Nick shot the bastard, he is dead so don't worry about that anymore, you are save" He told her while placing a kiss on her forehead "I promised that I would call the squat when you were awake, are you fine by yourself for a moment?"

Olivia nodded a yes and Elliot walled out the room, she sighed and hated her emotions when some more tears escaped her eyes. Crying she fell asleep some minutes later.

**xx-natasja-xx**

Three days had passed and finally the day came that Olivia could go home, the last couple days had been rough but Elliot stayed by her side all the time, he only went home to get changed and catch up some sleep when he knew someone else was by her side. He got to know Nick better in the same time and they found out that they could get along very well, both wanting the same for Olivia.

A day earlier Cassidy showed up but Olivia told him that they were over, partly blaming him for what happened. Knowing that if he had shown up that evening everything could have been different, he could have saved her. But that wasn't the only reason of their break-up, their relation was already falling apart before it happened, and they both knew it. The trust was gone.

Elliot stopped the car in front of her apartment building, he got the keys out the ignition and turned to face Olivia, taking his hand in his "Are you sure you are ready?" he asked, still thinking it's a bad idea to go back into that building

Olivia took a deep breath before looking up at him "I'm as ready as I ever will be" she said before opening the door and leaving the car.

Together they walked into the building, Elliot holding Olivia's hand in his while his other hand supported her broken ribs, making sure he was gently and not hurting her. In total silence they arrived at her door.

Olivia held the key in her hand, while she stared at the door, fear creeping in, her heartbeat going harder and faster as if her heart was going to explode or jump right out her chest at that moment. He looked up at Elliot, handing him the key knowing he would understand that she wanted him to open the door.

Elliot did what she wanted him to do, he opened the door and together they slowly walked in. When Olivia stood in her house, just near the entrance she felt like she was getting sick, fear coming back to her, seeing images of Lewis with a gun pointed to her head, everything of those four days came back to her. With fear in her eyes she looked at Elliot before breaking down "I can't do this" she said hyperventilating and before she knew it the world went black.

**xx-Natasja-xx**

**It's short I know, but I really wanted you to give an update.**  
**I will try and update soon, my internship has ended so I have some more spare time to write.**

**Please review and make my day!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Save me, chapter 3.**

**Thank you for your amazing continuing support on this story! Love to read all your reviews.  
I know it has been a while since my last update but my laptop wouldn't work anymore and at the normal computer I barely have the time to write. Last night I brought my laptop back to first use so I hope it will continue to work now.**

I'm changing my penname tot N.T's Fanfiction in the next couple weeks, just so you know.

**-N.T's Fanfiction-**

When Olivia woke up again she found herself back in Elliot his car. She looked over to her left and met Elliot his worried eyes.

" Welcome back" he grinned, before handing her a bottle of water

Olivia took the bottle and opened it before taking a sip of the water, feeling the dryness in her throat disappear by every single sip. After a couple sips she looked up at him again "I'm sorry" she apologized, she hated the fact that she fainted in front of him, just because opening that door and seeing the mess on the floor brought back memories back to her. The idea of Lewis being in that house, kidnapping her just was too much to handle.

"don't be sorry, I understand" Elliot told her and stroked her hand, carefully and watched her expression not wanting to scare her. "I will grab some of your stuff to take to my place, you can stay with me as long as you want" He said before getting out of the car. "is there something special I need to take?" he asked her before grabbing a piece of paper and a pen to write everything down that she needed.

**-N.T's Fanfiction-**

Elliot was preparing dinner when he heard her scream, quickly he put everything down and ran towards his guestroom, the place that he gave to Olivia earlier that day. He opened the door and went In, only to see her tossing in the bed while tears streamed overher face , and screaming that he had to stop and let her go. He went over to her and sat down on the bed next to her as he called for her. "Olivia wake up, it's just a dream" he said, over and over and he softly shook her shoulder, careful to not hurt her.

Olivia shot awake, and moved away from him. Scared by the touch on her shoulder. She started sobbing and pulled up her knees, wrapping her arms around them, before placing her head on top of her knees, ignoring the burning pain in her arm and ribs.

Elliot moved closer to her, pulling her in a hug "Olivia, you are save, everything is going to be okay, Lewis is dead, he is never coming back, he can't harm you anymore" Elliot said and he wished that they could have found her sooner, so that her misery would have stopped before that bastard raped her. She hadn't told him yet what happened but when he found her naked on that bed he could see that he did to her.

Olivia froze by the touch but after a couple seconds she knew she was save, in Elliot his arms, and she relaxed accepted the hug and moved her head on his shoulder. They stayed in that position for a couple minutes before Elliot needed to return to the kitchen. "I'm making dinner, I know you probably aren't hungry but you need to eat something, you can't have nothing in your system. " he told her as he broke the hug and gave her a kiss on her forehead before returning to the kitchen.

Olivia watched him leave the room, sighed and took a deep breath before getting up from the bed. With every move that she made her whole body hurt her, grimacing she heard Lewis his voice in her head, telling her over and over that he would make her remember him for a long time. She sighed knowing he was right, all the bruises, the broken arm and ribs, the burns, the mental pain and the stitches down under would make her remind it, with every move she made. Whenever she was comfortable in bed or on the couch he would creep into her brain again and he wouldn't let her at ease. Being depended from someone was something she wasn't used, as a child of an alcoholic abusive parent you learn to take care of yourself, when you are able to. Now she was depended on Elliot, a man she hadn't seen in three years and they didn't even spoke about it with each other correctly, yes she knew now why he had left but not what happened with him in these years, what he did for living now, how the children are and where they went to. They still had a lot to talk about also about what happened in her live, her relationship with Brain. She didn't like to be dependent on someone else but at the moment she couldn't go anywhere else, she needed a home and at the moment she could use his company and his friendship.

She slowly walked towards the kitchen before trying to sit down on the barstool, only to let out a whimper because of her stitches hurting her. Elliot noticed and quickly walked over towards the couch and grabbed a pillow, placing it on the chair and helping her up. Noticing she looked embarrassed he placed a kiss on her cheek and went back towards the stove. After stirring the soup he grabbed a drink for Olivia and placed it in front of her. "how are you holding up?" He asked as he sat down in front of her.

Olivia shrugged her shoulders "just like any other victim I guess" she said, grimacing at the victim name. Although she had been close she never would have thought to become a victim once. She always thought that her education and experience as a cop would save her.

Elliot smiled a comforting smile at her "you are strong Olivia, everyone knows this. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you at the moment, but Liv don't let him take you down. You can get over this even though it will take a time to do so! Don't ever think you are weak!" Elliot told her, looking her into her eyes, making sure she knew that he didn't thought different about her now.

" Thank you Elliot" Olivia said with a small smile, knowing she had his support through this.  
She took a sip of her glass with water before deciding to change the subject. "So what happened with you and Kathy after you left? I thought your relationship was just getting better?" Olivia asked the question that had on her mind all day, not sure if she was crossing a line or not but she decided to ask it anyway.

Elliot looked up at her "Liv, you know our relation never had been steady, I just stayed with her for the children, but one day two years ago I came home." He swallowed "she was making out on our couch with her best friend, who also had a wife at home" I left the same evening after explaining the children that we weren't going to work things out anymore. Kathy left with Eli to the other side of the country so I don't get to see him that much anymore besides on skype.. did I already tell you that I found out that he isn't my biological son?" Elliot laughed sarcastic "turned out she had been cheating on me for several years" He said sad.

Olivia was shocked by what she just heard and slowly and carefully stood up from her chair before walking over to Elliot. She felt sad for him. She wrapped her good arm around him and hugged him. Elliot accepted the hug and enjoyed the feeling of her in his arms.

"You deserve better Elliot, what Kathy did to you was way beyond mean, you are an amazing guy and I mean that" Olivia whispered in his ear before placing a soft kiss on his cheek. She had liked Elliot for several years, she would never admit it to someone but when she met him for the first time and saw those pierced blue eyes she immediately fell for him. After the kiss on the cheek she broke the hug and smiled at him. She could see in his eyes that he felt bad about losing his youngest son, but she also knew the still thought of him as his son.

Elliot returned the smile "You're the best liv" he said before getting up to stir his soup again. He felt a bit guilty about not feeling bad about his breakup with Kathy. If Eli wasn't born he would have divorced her years ago, knowing that his heart belonged to someone else.

**-N.T's Fanfiction-**

_a loud men's laugh was heard in the dark room, coming closer and closer as footsteps were heard on the wooden floor. "you didn't think you could get away that easy from me right?" the angry voice said with a laugh "I'm not done with you yet" the voice sad as she saw his face, Lewis was back into the room with a weird smirk on his face. He climbed on the bed onto Olivia, grabbing her face in his hands he forced her to look at him "did I tell you already that you absolutely my favorite girl? If I knew you were this amazing I would have picked you years ago" he laughed "I would love to see this partner searching for you, I think it will be amazing to make him watch" he smirked before placing a kiss on her lips. Olivia screamed and tried to pull her head away but he was too strong. "don't" she whispered as the tears streamed over her face, she was amazed that she still had tears left._

_The laugh was heard again "what did you say baby? Do you want more? You really have been exercising for me haven't you?" he said as he started to unzip his pants before pulling it down and releasing his member._

_Olivia cried and screamed as he pulled his member out, but was forced to stop screaming when he sat down on top of her breasts and moved her head forwards before pushing his member into her mouth. Olivia started to gag, he trusted a couple more times before pulling out and looking at her "Better think twice before starting to scream again" he said before lowering himself on her and trusting into her._

Olivia woke up panting and sweating like crazy, tears leaked over her face as she quickly got up from the bed and hurried to the bathroom. Next to the toilet she crashed onto the floor, ignoring the pain that caused that, and started to empty her stomach contests in the toilet, in a way glad that Elliot made her eat.

As she continued emptying her stomach Elliot entered the bathroom, being woken up by some screams and then the sound of someone puking. "Ow Liv" he said as he noticed her trembling form by the toilet, emptying her stomach while the tears streamed over her face, a sight that broke his heart even more for her. He walked over to her and sat down next to her and he held her hair with one hand while the other softly rubbed her lower back.

Olivia sighed as she felt Elliot entered the room, she didn't want him to see this broken but at the same time she was glad that he was there with her. His hand on her back didn't fright her, it was a gentle and loving touch and nothing like Lewis. When the puking quit she turned to him and took the wet paper that he held out for her, she cleaned up her mouth while whispering a soft thank you. She looked up at his eyes before crashing down in his arms "I was back there, he will never leave me" she cried into his shoulder.

Elliot kissed her head "We will find a way to get him to leave for good" he whispered while holding her until she fell asleep again, exhausted of all events happening in real live and in her dreams.  
Elliot carefully picked her up from the floor, making sure he didn't hurt her too much, before carrying her towards her bed and sitting down next to her in the chair, to make sure that if she had a nightmare again, he would be by her side.

**-N.T'S Fanfiction-**

Review?


	4. Chapter 4

**Save me: Chapter 4.**

**Thank you for all your amazing feedback! Love it.**  
**Here is a new update for you, told you I would try to update sooner.**

**-N.T's Fanfiction-**

The next morning Elliot was in the kitchen making himself a coffee when Olivia walked in. She smiled at him "Morning" she said, leaving the good behind on purpose because she wasn't sure if it was a good morning or not. The smell of coffee reached her nose and she instantly became thirsty for it.

"Morning" Elliot returned with a smile before handing her his cup of coffee, knowing how much Olivia loved a good cup of coffee in the morning, and pouring himself another one. He sat down on the table just as Olivia did, who sat down on 'her' pillow.

"What are your plans for today?" Olivia asked him, hoping he would be at home so she didn't have to be alone, she always loved to be alone but right now she didn't need the time to overthink things.

Elliot swallowed his coffee before looking up at her "I have an appointment with my shrink in a hour and after that I need to do some grocery shopping, let me know what I can take for you" He said before taking a new sip.

"You go to a shrink?" Olivia asked him in awe, not expecting that from Elliot, the man who never got his emotions out in another way than anger.

"Yeah I started doing that just after I left the squad, I wasn't able to control my anger anymore, and then the divorce with Kathy, losing you in my life.. I just didn't know how to handle things anymore and I knew I had to go if I would want my life to turn around for the better. I'm not proud of my behavior and just leaving without telling you a thing… It helped me a lot and it still does, I go once in the two months to get my feelings out to prevent a relapse of my angry behavior." Elliot told her as he looked her into her brown eyes, the eyes who once were filled with good emotions and a sparkle but now seemed sad. "I think it would be good for you if you went too, I can ask my shrink if she has a place for you in her practice. She is a good person and I think it really would help you to recover. Keeping everything that happened to you for yourself isn't going to work, talking about it is what helps the most" He assured her as he lay his hand on top of hers, stroking it.

Olivia listened to what he said, not feeling like talking with a stranger she shrugged her shoulders "I'm fine" she said, although she knew it was a lie. Right now she was everything besides fine and she hated that he turned her this way. She became to think that what Lewis did to her was just like toxic, slowly taking over her. She knew she was just a shadow of someone she used to be, but she also knew that she needed time to get over it. She rather would be busy with work and paperwork instead of being home.. Even before this happened she rather was at work then at home alone in her apartment.

Elliot sighed, knowing it would take time for her to open up towards seeing a shrink. He took the last sip of his coffee before getting up "Promise me you will think about it" he said as he walked over to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I'm going to take a shower and get dressed before going to my appointment, will you be okay alone?"

"I will" Olivia answered although she wasn't sure if she would be. She smiled as he walked over to his bedroom, coming back with clothes before disappearing into the bathroom.  
She took a sip of her coffee before sighing, knowing that Elliot was worried about her and wanted her to think about it. She once did the whole shrinking thing when it wasn't forced by the captain and had to do with work.. that was just before she joined the squad, she hoped that the shrink could help her with all the baggage of her childhood but she only went once, because she couldn't see the point of it. Knowing what might be helping she got of the barstool and walked back to her bedroom, finding her bag she took out her cellphone. She sat down on the bed and called the man who was just like a father figure for her.

The phone rang three times before a voice on the other side answered "_captain Cragen" _the voice said.

Olivia took a deep breath "Don, it's Olivia" She said, although she knew for sure that he would recognize her voice.

_"Hey Liv, how are you holding up?" He asked her, her voice seemed broken and nothing like she used to sound. He was worried about her, he had seen her statement and what happened to her was not human._

Olivia shrugged her shoulders although he couldn't see it "Just like any other victim I guess." She said "I'm holding up, although that bastard seems to creep into my mind every single time" she admitted "Don, Nick shot him right?"

"_I'm sorry Liv, I should have made sure Nick walked you to the door, just like Elliot did…. Yes Nick shot him Liv, he is dead he can't hurt you anymore" he said wondering why she actually called_

"Can I see him? I just need to see with my own eyes that the bastard is dead.. I think it can help me with my recovery" she said, and she really thought that it would give her some kind of closure now she couldn't get him behind bars.

_"Of course you can, shall I tell Nick or Amanda to pick you up at your apartment?" Don asked her, not wanting her to travel alone._

"Thanks, but that is not necessary, Elliot will take me" She answered "Thanks Cap, I will see you later around noon I guess" she said before ending the phone call. She put the phone away and walked back to the living room, heading towards Elliot his bedroom and knocking on the door with her index finger.

"Come in" He called and she opened the door before walking in. Elliot just got out of the shower and wasn't dressed in anything but a jeans. She adored his six-pack for a second before looking up at him

"El, can you take me some where after your appointment?" she asked him, hoping that he would do that for her.

Elliot looked her in the eye "Of course, I can take you anywhere, where do you want to go Liv?" He asked her, although he had his suspicions that she wanted to go to the precinct.

A tear formed in Olivia her eye "I need to see him, I need to see that he is dead myself. We help victims to get closure by locking the suspects away behind bars. I just heard that he is dead and got no closure at all… I can't get him behind bars so I just have to see that the bastard is dead.. You want to come with me? I'm not sure if I can handle it alone… I don't want to see him again but I know I need to" she cried

Elliot stepped towards her and pulled her in a hug, he kissed the top of her head before answering her "of course I will come with you" he said as took a step back and looked her into the eyes "I will be here for you in every step in the way" he assured her as she showed him a small smile and mumbled a thank you.

**-N.T's Fanfiction-**

Elliot did what he promised and after his appointment he had picked up Olivia at his apartment. He now pulled into the parking spot at the precinct and as he shut off the engine he looked up at Olivia "Are you ready?" He asked her

Olivia nodded at him, knowing she never would be ready to see that bastard again. She undid her seatbelt, opened the door before getting out. Outside the car she met Elliot and she moved closer to him as she placed her good hand in his, wanting and needing his comfort. She felt save in his presence, she always had and always will. She even doubted that at the moment any other man could come that close at the moment, even if these were Nick, Fin, Munch of Don.

Elliot took her hand and squeezed it for support before walking into the building in silence. They walked towards the elevator and he pressed the button before the doors opened and they got it. In the elevator Olivia froze, knowing that she was about to face all her colleagues and knowing that she looked just like a victim with the dark bags underneath the eyes formed by the lack of sleep, the visible evidence of what he did to her.

Elliot noticed and pulled her closer to him, holding her in his embrace. He placed a kiss on top of her head and then the doors opened. Elliot held her hand as they stepped out of the elevator together, ready to face this demon of Olivia and hoping it would help her cope with it.

**-N.T's Fanfiction-  
**  
**I know it is short, but I wasn't sure how to write the part where she 'meets' Lewis dead body.  
Next chapter will take place right after that.**

**Review?**


	5. Authors note

Hey guys,

I'm so terrible sorry for abandoning my fanfics Life has been busy and it still is. I graduated as specialized child care worker in June and am working since. Because the economic crisis its difficult to find a job with children, so I'm working in a candy factory at the moment, this means that I am working in shifts and don't always have the time to write. However, I will promise that I will start writing again and that I will try and update as soon as possible! I just do not know how frequently I will have the time to update.

I will update asap!

Love, Natasja


	6. Chapter 5

**Save me 5.  
**  
I know I'm not one of the best writers on here and this might not be the best story with this subject but thank you for your lovely support on this story! I'm really enjoying writing for Law and Order SVU and probably will write more for it in the future.

I'm sorry that it has been such a long time since my last update, you know the reason. And not to mention the big writers block I've had on this chapter… :O

I'm sorry for any grammatical mistakes, haven't been writing in English for a year… 

**-N.T's Fanfiction-**

Olivia sighed as she grabbed Elliot's hand and squeezed it tight. She was nervous and scared and she could feel that in every inch of her body. She stepped into the squat room, immediately feeling all the eyes turn towards her and it reminded her even more that she was a victim now. As her friends just kept staring at her she composed herself, wanting to show them that she wasn't weak. She put on a fake smile and walked in, not wanting to look like a victim, but like her strong self.

"Hey guys" she said with a fake smile as she continued walking towards her captain's office, not feeling like having a small talk with her colleagues, she didn't need their sad looks, them asking her how she were 'cuz they all knew that she wasn't fine. She knocked on the door before looking at Elliot who gave her a nod, a nod that said that she could do this, he squeezed her hand before they both walked in the office.

Don smiled when he saw them, happy that Olivia had her friend with her at the moment, he walked over to them "It's good to see you again Liv " He said as he mentioned for them to sit down in the chairs in front of his desk. He looked at them, Elliot being Elliot and taking care of Olivia like he always had done, he was glad that Elliot came back for her and he hoped that he would stick around for a long time. Then he took a look at Olivia, the woman who almost was like his own daughter, the woman who just looked like a shadow of herself at the moment. The woman who always had been so strong, but just looked so fragile at the moment, the women he didn't recognize at the moment.  
"Are you sure that you want to do this?" He asked her

Olivia looked up at the man who almost was like a dad to her "Yes" she nodded "I need to see it, I need closure and I can't see a other way then taking this chance, when he is buried I won't have any closure anymore since there won't be a trail, like other… like other.. other victims… have.." she explained and she felt Elliot tightening his grip on her hand. "so yes, I am sure"

Don nodded "Well, then I hope it will give you some closure" he smiled "Do you want me to come with you? I already informed Melinda that you would come"

Olivia shook her head no "I will be fine, besides I have Elliot with me" she said as she smiled at Elliot, not a fake smile but a genuine one. "but you can help me with letting me come back to work, I need to do my job" she said, knowing that he was going to argue this with her.  
Elliot sighed and shook a no at Don, knowing she had to work on herself first before being able to help others again. Don smiled at her, he knew she would begin this conversation "No." he said

"But-" Olivia started

"- you can come back when you worked this all out, it's too soon and you know that" he said and he got up "Just take some time for yourself this time, you have plenty vacation day's left and I want you to take some of them.. You will be paid of course since it's a medical leave" he said as he lay his hand on her shoulder "enjoy your free time, work your things out" he said looking between Elliot and Olivia. "when you both worked things out and you" he looked at Olivia now "are better, you both can return to work, only if you want to of course" he said mentioning Elliot

Elliot stood up and shook Don his hand "thank you, I will think about it" he said before handing Olivia his hand "shall we go now?" he asked, earning a nod from her.

**-N.T's Fanfiction-**

Olivia closely held Elliot his hand as they walked in the room, she was afraid of what seeing Lewis again would do with her. She didn't want to see him, but she just knew she had to. Inside the fear only got worse by every step she took toward his body. When she came closer to Lewis his body she started shaking, causing Elliot to pull her closer to his body to let her know she wasn't alone.

Melinda gave them the time for themselves and left the room for a minute, waiting on the hallway for them.

Olivia took a deep breath before lifting up the covering on Lewis his body, facing him she started to cry, Lewis seemed content, even in his dead he seemed to give her a smirk, a smirk she had seen to many times in the four days that he had captured her.

Even though she had now prove that he really is dead, a part of her couldn't believe it, how was it possible that a man who had kidnapped and tortured her for 4 days couldn't even save himself. How was it possible that he got shot? "Ass" she muttered, now believing that even his dead was something that he had planned, he wanted her to feel guilty about his dead, or whatever his master plan would be. No Olivia did not feel sorry about the fact that he was dead, no she felt guilty of letting him destroy the person she used to be. Since the moment she met him ,he made her blood boil, he knew how to get to her. At the moment she didn't even know anymore who she was, how she used to be, because at the moment there wasn't anything left of the strong and in depended woman that is called Olivia. And even in his dead he managed to piss her off. Anger started to boil inside her again and before she knew it she was cursing, crying and hitting him with all the strength she had. She was in a trance and didn't even know how to stop until she collapsed on the ground, hysterical crying.

It was then that Elliot scooped her up in his arms, while trying to comfort her. He had watched her every move, and thought it would be time for her to head back home, his home, so that she could rest. With Olivia crying in his arms he walked out the room, shared an look with Melinda, before walking out of the building.

'You are going to be okay' he told her as he opened the car door and sat her carefully in the passenger seat. Trying not to hurt her in the progress. He placed a kiss on her cheek, stroke away some tears from her face before buckling her in the seat and walking over to the driver's side of the car, getting in and driving them home.

**-N.T's Fanfiction-**

Is it worth a review? and why does it always seem longer in word then when it is posted on here..


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